In light of my recent weigh-in, I've been trying to cut back on how much I eat. I have bad habits — eating when I'm bored, eating when I'm sad, eating when I'm happy, eating because it tastes good... basically, eating anytime I'm not full, as opposed to when I'm hungry. (No wonder I weigh 170lbs.)

So I'm thinking baby steps, right? I'll cut back to eating three times a day, and if I get hungry in between, I can only have healthy snacks, like fruit, yogurt or a salad. I've never been on a diet of any kind, and I'm generally very bad at denying myself purely hedonistic pleasures (such as eating), so this is kind of a big thing for me. I've been doing it since Monday, and so far, I've been sticking to it. I've only snacked between meals once, and I had an apple. (I've also taken to brushing my teeth twice a day, complete with fluoride treatments but no flossing because my mouth is too crowded, but that's neither here nor there.)

When I decided all of this on Sunday, I thought to myself, 'Now, don't bother telling the family about it. That can only go badly.' I was right, of course (am I ever not?).

Yesterday, I asked my mom what was for dinner, and she waffled about it (no pun intended, truly). I prompted her by telling her that whatever was for dinner would be lunch for me, so I wanted to know if she was making anything. If not, I could make something myself. She suggested a meal, and implied that she might make it right then, at which point I asked if she couldn't wait an hour or so, because I didn't want to eat early.

(The late-night / wee hours are the most difficult for me, because there's no one being noisy and obnoxious in the kitchen to discourage me from cooking, and there's little else to do. Therefore, if I ate lunch early and got hungry later, I might be inclined to indulge. No willpower, I tell you. Some Scorpio rising I am.)

This led to my explaining my diet to her, because she wanted to know why (or more like 'since when') I didn't want to eat right then. When I explained it, she laughed at me. I tried to explain that I weighed too much, and I needed to stop eating when I was bored / not full / feeling hedonistic, and this, too, was apparently funny. Thanks for the support, Mom.

Today, Falon asked if I was hungry, probably because she wanted me to make something for us both, and I told her that I couldn't eat right then. (In retrospect, I should have just said 'no' and walked away. I'd be less moody now.) She asked why, and I successfully dodged the question once via distraction, only to have her ask again when the distraction was over. I answered her that time, saying that I was trying to cut back to eating only three times a day, instead of constantly.

She laughed as she walked away, in more of a 'yeah, right' way than the amused way my mother laughed. I almost wasn't sure what kind of sound it was (or was hoping I'd misinterpreted, maybe?), so I asked, "What?"

She said derisively over her shoulder, "Good luck with that."

It's so nice to be supported.

The thing that really gets me is that these are the same people who don't care that I'm a lesbian — my mother, who took my sexuality more seriously than my father, and Falon, who's slapped people in the face for talking trash about her 'dyke sister.' Is there some reason they can't take this seriously or support me? Jesus H. I'm not asking for gel bracelets or sponsors, here.

- Thanks for all the happy birthdays; I meant to go back and reply to each entry, but I'm tired. ;; Know that I saw them, though, and I appreciate it.

- Took my written driver's exam again today; I now have until Sept. 12 to take the road test. Cue Dad's being pushy and my trying to get comfortable.

- Parents saw an attorney; apparently, DHS had no legal standing to take Miranda in the first place, so if Tara and Miranda's father sign over their rights, she's ours. No foster care, no DHS involvement. In fact, he may not have to sign the papers, but he's been sent them, so either way, it'll only be a few days at most.

- There is the possibility of a young!Lassiter muse. *looses sheepdogs.* I do not need this. /)(\

- naptiem. ♥;

On Life

→ I actually weigh 170lbs, apparently. This is insane, as I am 5' 4". I don't look like I weigh 170, but this still should be rectified. With spring and summer coming up, I'll have a lot more to do in the yard and garage, so I should be able to work at least some of it off that way. A little dedication would probably help, too....

→ Semi-related: I may be able to get at least some exercise, because my parents did the intelligent, responsible thing with their income tax money and bought us a Wii. Now, I'm not complaining, exactly — yay, Wii, and I'm glad that my parents want to keep us happy / give us things / what-have-you. But really? I can name several places that money would be better spent: repairing the back porch, replacing the molding wall between the bathroom and dining room, replacing the broken bathtub in our bathroom, fixing the pool, repainting the bathroom, repainting my bedroom, renovating the garage, buying a new lawnmower.... You get the idea. I appreciate the gesture, but I wish they'd reprioritize. At least they've quit smoking weed for the duration of our court proceedings over Miranda. A blown drug test would basically guarantee that we'd never see her again.

→ Through the aforementioned court proceedings, we have now learned that Jason was charged for molesting his younger siblings back in 2000. This is another in a long, long list of reasons that Tara should never get Maci back while Jason is still in that house. My parents have also forbidden any of us (Falon, Miranda and I) from seeing or speaking to him ever again (some loss that is). For reasons beyond my ken, Tara continues to trust and believe him, and even had the stones to bring him to Falon's swim practice the other day. I have no words for this.

→ Speaking of child molesters, my grandmother's husband is still in the hospital and not getting better. He's being kept in Memphis, where I hear he can't even get out of bed. My grandmother, bless her heart, has been spending over 95% of her time at her niece's house in Memphis, so she can be near Jim. She comes home for a day or two every few weeks, and this routine is wearing her out so badly. She actually had to go to the hospital, herself, just the night before last, because her blood pressure skyrocketed. The doctor said it was stress. This is exactly why we all wish Jim would just kick it already. I'm not eager for my grandmother to be alone (again), but this is hurting her; holding onto Jim is hurting her. As disrespectful as it is, I don't like seeing her wasting all of her savings, the money that my grandfather worked so hard to earn for her so that she could have a good life, on Jim.

→ In better news, spring is coming! This means more yard work and a sudden temperature spike, but spring is also invigorating. ♥ It'll be nice to balance the time I've been spending in the garage with some time outside, too. I honestly won't mind working in the yard as much as I did last year, I think. I'm... even kind of looking forward to mowing the lawn (though I'm sure that won't last long, what with needing to do it every two weeks or so).


( On Muses (cut to spare the disinterested) )

Anyone on the f'list want some pounds? I have 15 - 30 to spare. Will also sell in kilos (that's roughly 7 - 14, right?). Free ground shipping within the US.

I have court tomorrow, and none of my nice shirts or vests will fit me. Actually, the shirts won't fit because my rack is too big, but I'm not selling those yet, so.... Yeah, I'll figure something out, I'm sure.

In semi-related news (that is, related to court, not related to my being a fat kid), when they dropped Miranda off at our house on Thursday, they did not bring any of her effects with her. It was mostly clothes, but also a couple of stuffed toys (one of which actually belonged to me) and her inhaler. (She uses a medicated inhaler daily to keep her lungs healthy, because she's very prone to bad respiratory infections.) What they told us was that they could have brought her back with her belongings, but they would have had to wait until Friday, and they thought we wanted her back ASAP, so they took option B, which was bringing her back Thursday and delivering her effects Friday.

It is now Tuesday, and we have yet to receive any of it, including her inhaler. She came home from school yesterday because she was coughing and running a fever, and stayed home again today in similar condition. Mom called DHS and the foster home yesterday to ask them about it, and they claimed they'd be by 'Tuesday afternoon.' Now, at a quarter past six, Mom and Dad have left to go get Miranda's things themselves. Mom's a bit unnecessarily pissed, and I'm wondering what we're going to do with Miranda when we go to court tomorrow — she's in no shape to come along, and she can't go to school, either.

Maybe I'll get lucky and they'll leave me home to look after her. I mean, anything to get away from the sickies; all the coughing and germs make me insane, but really. Anything to get out of waking up at 7am and sitting at the courthouse from 9am on.

Meanwhile, the musespace grows ever more crowded. More on that later, I think. ♥

Oh, also — new layout (and matching profile layout). :D tokyocentricity~

The dust has settled (mostly), but we're not out of the woods yet. Court is on Wednesday morning, to determine whether my parents get full custody of Miranda or not. I'm expected to be there as well, so here's to an all-nighter, I imagine.

She is home safe and sound, now, though, which is most important. Whatever happens from here, we'll take it as it comes. ♥

And while I'm here, a little offering to the Tenipuri fans: a preview from Yukimura's upcoming birthday album, Last Song, ripped and converted from Nicovideo. I'm so looking forward to this~

A timetable for yesterday:

0500: Went to bed.
0900: Woke up, did paperwork.
1200: Went to get documents notarized and turned in to DHS.
1300: Finished up with client's PC.
1400: Helped Grandma move Christmas tree and decorations.
1500: Cleaned out aunt's PC.
1600: Returned and set up client's PC.
1800: Came home and vacuumed, scrubbed and otherwise cleaned.
2000: Ate pizza.
2300: Finished cleaning and fell into bed.

DHS sent a worker out (ironically named Miranda) to do a home interview this morning at 11am, hence all the cleaning. We now officially have provisionary foster care of Miranda (the child, not the social worker). She was dropped off here at home not half an hour ago. If we want actual custody of her, we have two choices.

Become her foster family. Thirty hours of training for my parents, learning how to meet the DHS requirements for foster care (locking up medicine, chemicals, etc.; enclosing the pool, and many, many more), and looking over our shoulders constantly to make sure DHS doesn't catch us breaking the rules.

Gain legal custody of her. Since she's technically not in Tara's custody anymore, we would have to get the state to award us custody. This is what we're hoping to do. I have a cousin in Memphis who works for a law firm that employs one of the state's biggest public defenders. The idea is that he can talk the judge into awarding us custody.

The second option is obviously preferred. We've taken care of Miranda nearly all her life without any problems so far, and it wasn't due to our negligence that she was put into foster care, but a legal technicality. Hopefully, the judge will agree.

Thanks so much to everyone who's been thinking of us, and keep doing whatever it is you're doing, 'cos I think it might be working. ♥

My parents have filed for provisional foster care, so that we can bring Miranda home before we ever go to court. Hopefully, she'll be home this weekend — we'll have people coming by for a home inspection sometime this week, and we're going in to sign some papers this afternoon.

I probably won't be around much tonight, and only here and there this week. Things will be busy. ♥ Wish us luck~

So, on Sunday, my sister's eleven-month-old daughter was taken from her home by child services, because my sister's live-in fuck-up boyfriend tested positive for meth. Tara's trying to get her back, and I hope she does, but I hope it's at the expense of said boyfriend. He's a loser, and he's not doing Tara or Maci any good.

In the meantime, nobody told Miranda, Tara's other daughter, who lives with us. Tara didn't want her to know, because she planned on getting Maci back, so she didn't want to upset Miranda unnecessarily.

Child services called today to tell my mother that because Miranda is Tara's child (by a different father than Jason, who is Maci's father) and my parents don't have legal custody of her, she also has to go into foster care.

Mom's a total wreck, but we should have Miranda back in short order. There's nothing stopping us from getting legal custody, so it's only a matter of time. Miranda cried, of course, but she seemed a little better by the time she left half an hour ago. I'm sure that won't really hold — she'll cry tonight, and probably every night until she comes back. I just hope she'll be okay.

I complain about her a lot, and we all give her a hard time — she's difficult to get along with, to be honest — but she's family, in the end.

Keep your fingers crossed, or pray, or whatever it is you guys do, that she'll be okay. ♥ Please.

eta: There's a court date set for next week, and we have to get the house ready for a home inspection. I guess this is going to take a little longer than expected, but it's still only a matter of time.

Apparently, I've used that subject line before. Go figure. ♥

Here's the voice post meme. I'm a little pressed for time, so I haven't listened to the file at all. Consider this a warning: I may sound like a retard, and the audio quality is unchecked.

( embedded clip and download link (10mb wtf) under the cut. )

Meme post!

Handwriting Meme
1. Write your LJ username
2. Write your two favorite bands/groups at the moment [not overall, just currently]
3. Write either I ♥ k-pop ; I ♥ j-pop ; I ♥ c-pop [this isn't really for anything, just to see how you draw hearts xD]
4. Write the name of your favorite person of all time [e.g. Yamada Ryosuke]
5. Write down your recently favored person [e.g. G-Dragon]
6. Tag 6 people to do this meme

( Now in cursive! Click thumbnails to embiggen. ♥ )

Voice Post Meme
Comment here with anything you want to hear me say, read or talk about, and I'll record it all in a voice post. ♥ It can be anything from my favourite colour to the best game I've played lately, or you can ask me to say 'I love Echizen Ryoma with all my heart and soul,' but I'll kill you if you do that. :D If you want me to read something, give me a link. (The only books I have in the house are The Little Prince and an astrology book, but I'll read parts of those, if you really want me to.)

♥ Iluguys.

New layout (and profile layout!) for the holiday. I don't really like VDay much, but it's a good excuse to tamper with decorations. ♥

Also: The problem with writing anything based in TWEWY-verse is that someone has to die to get there. ;; I've been thinking about Tenipuri fic in TWEWY-verse, and... well, I tried writing Yukimura waking up in the UG. It was very quick to derail into angst. Ugh.

Maybe I'll have more luck with Yagyuu and twelve-times-dead!Niou. :/

( This meme is about sex. If you don't want to know about me and sex, just keep scrolling. ♥ If you click, I take no responsibility for the consequences. )

Off to haul wood. (Ha ha.) There's tons of downed branches in the yard from the Icepocalypse. Should be around tomorrow~. ♥

For some reason, I don't have a 'sex' tag, but I have a 'sex androids' tag. Oooookay.

So, last night, the power went out around 1am. It came back twice (very briefly) between then and 4am, when it decided to make a proper showing. That was still three hours in 25F weather, but I'm glad the power's on now. However, the weather's not over, so if I do spontaneously disappear for several hours / days, that's probably what's happened.

( Pictures of the outside world. )

Now, I am going back to bed. ♥ See you all this afternoon, I hope.

indoles_rex
indoles_rex
indoles_rex

♥

I'm about to run off to work with Dad, but I was working on Hikari's profile for tenihime in the spare minutes I had, and found myself wondering something.

How often do you look up words (in an actual dictionary, Dictionary.com, or even just by checking with someone else) that you're using in a story? A journal entry? Normal conversations? Do you look them up because you want a synonym, or to double-check the meaning because you want to be sure they mean what you think they mean?

I was typing 'regimen' when I realized that I wasn't absolutely certain that was the word I was looking for. As I was pulling down Dictionary.com in my search bar and typing it in, I thought about how automatically I was doing so — I do it so often, I don't even have to think about it anymore. I love looking up words, and I don't trust my memory, so I do it a lot, just to be sure.

What about you guys?

Uni app is due on Wednesday, and I need need need to revise the bio section before I turn it in. Damn thing's a little over 1k (yeah, since when did Sanada talk so much?), and I'd really really really appreciate it if you guys could give me some concrit on this. I'm not looking for characterization help at all, just — general flow, mostly; grammar, excessive compound sentences (Jesus Christ), repetition, or things I may have glossed over / not explained well (aside from the total vagueness about the rest of Rikkai; I don't really have a lot of room, there).

Please and thanks, guys?

( monster's under here )

Now I've gotta run; I have a car to work on. ♥

LJ's Demise
For anyone on the fritz about the whole affair, check LJ's Twitter before you abandon ship.

Speaking of Abandoning Ship...
Not that I'm gonna, but it'd be nice to have a backup plan. Inksome looks hot; I took a look around there a while ago, before it required invite codes, but never signed up. Does anyone have a spare invite code for me?

Speaking of Twitter...
http://twitter.com/tokyocentricity

I don't use it much, but there you go.

Uni Again
Reserving Sanada, hopefully. One of the mods has picked up three characters in the first week of the RP's activity, so one of the other mods gave me (and a couple others) permission to reserve early. I smell potential trouble, but hey. Not my problem.

A Meme
( from Julie )

THERE IS NOTHING I HAVE NOT DARED TO DO, clearly. ♥

Also On RP...
Uni is going rather well. Jirou's popular as ever, and I really do love playing him from highschool up. He's had time to mature, grow devious, get drunk, have sex.... At Uni, it's especially interesting, since he struggled at Toudai for two years. He has perhaps a bit more of a penchant for drinking and partying than usual because of it.

I'm still hoping we'll get a Shishido and maybe even a Taki. ♥ And that no one snatches Sanada up before the 18th, but that's a whole week and a half away. *covers eyes.*

Seems like the majority of the players here are a little cliquey, but mostly in the sense that they all know one another. They're perfectly friendly, and not really exclusive at all. Besides, Rachel and Julie are here now, too, so. ♥ It's warming up nicely~ And I'm still keeping an eye on tenihime. I have girls who could play~

In the last week, I've coded Jirou's profile and my own, as well as modifying the coding from my layout to fit his, and creating the headers for his journal and both our profile layouts. I am quite pleased with myself, but also I am possibly never coding again.

My eyes hurt. *hides.*